Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm Starving!!!!!

Seriously husband. You leave at 7:30 to go get a nice steak and potatoes (the word potatoes is the bain of my existance- I have spelled it every way imaginable, but it still looks wrong as hell) for your pregnant wife for dinner. Nice thought until you decided to spend an hour and a half looking at mother forking FISH for YOU when you know that even when not pregnant, I can't STAND the smell of fish. Plus you still have to MAKE dinner. You really can only speed up cooking a baked potato so much. I'm going to eat you if you aren't careful.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I remember now

I wanted to talk about me.

I wanted to talk about me and my status as "The Charlie Brown of Electronics". These days it appears my motto concerning anything with a cord or batteries needs to be "I killed it. Everything I touch gets ruined!!!". Let's do a quick rundown of the most recently departed. (We'll start with this year, I don't have that much time to go any further back)

My Guitar Hero Drum set. We have two guitars, a microphone and a drum set. I use the drums (and if I've had enough to drink, the microphone, but that's neither here nor there). Because my husband and I are the hugest nerds ever, after our vacation at Disney, we were all excited to get home and play with our new toy from Christmas- Guitar Hero. That's fine and dandy except that the drums are broken. They worked perfectly before we left. They were left unattended and untouched for 2 weeks and have mysteriously lost their will to play. Casualty #1.

My Passport. Not my incredibly unflattering portrait that says yes, this ugly mug belongs here in the USA, but the portable backup device that I was using to back up all of my photos. You know the 30,000 photos that I have stored on my overstressed computer. It is working fine one weekend, then nothing. The computer can't see it, it's clicking like its got someone playing the castanets in there and nothing is happening. $125 down the drain. Casualty #2.

The Wii. See, it wouldn't matter if the drum set worked or not, forces greater than myself have conspired against my video gaming plans. It has a light that says its on. But it's not. It's a lying bastard. Honestly, the console is used about every other day for about an hour. I don't think this is particularly taxing considering the horror stories I have heard about "gamers" that rival old ladies in front of slot machines. It will usually regain consciousness if we turn it off for about 30 minutes and then try again, but after 30 minutes, I'm usually stuffing my face with something and I've forgotten all about Wii Fit. Casualty #3.

The TV. This one has been coming. Our TV started spluttering and hissing at us a few months ago. It took it a while to come on each time and as long as we were patient, we were rewarded with 52 inches of entertainment. Soon though, turning off and then back on proved to be too much for our 4 year old tv, so we were not allowed to turn it off. We would simply change the input channel on it to make it *look* like it was off, but it never had to be stressed out by actually turning off and then back on. Then my mom picked Big up from school. Being the electricity nazi that she is, she told him to turn it off and he did. Even though he KNOWS he's not supposed to. So now no amount of bartering or pleading can make our TV come out of hibernation. Casualty #4.

And finally, the straw that has broken the camels back. My laptop. Yes, the new one that I just got for Christmas. The big shiny silver MacBook Pro. I was uploading some pictures to have printed for a client and video conferencing with my husband (what, I told you we were nerds!) and it froze. I am not familiar with the "Control+Alt+Delete" of Mac's, so I just turned it off. And it never turned back on. Dh insists that something has happened to it, but I swear I've handled it with kid gloves. Kit gloves? WTF ever, I've been really careful with it. He's saying things like "bad drives" and "unrecoverable images". I'm responding with mature things like "that's unacceptable" and "I swear I didn't do ANYTHING!!". It's out of commission for at LEAST 2 weeks while it tries to recover my files (including the wedding I just shot) and then waiting for the new drive. Casualty #5.

These are not counting the "smaller appliances" which like to randomly stop working once I've dealt with them like I have infected them with a plague or something (the phones, the Apple TV, my iPod and my freaking CHI straightener).

I'm considering my new status as "The Charlie Brown of Electronics" and thinking how fortuitous it is that I am married to my husband. He has some mystical, Jedi-like powers when it comes to things with cords and batteries that is all at once incredibly helpful- and infuriating. He is my Linus.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I Had Something to Say

I'm quite sure of it. I came here for a reason and that reason was to write about something

. . .

What the hell was it?!?!