Shortly after we moved into our home, the abandoned house next to us was foreclosed on. By abandoned, I mean it was simply walked away from b/c the owners couldn't afford the payments in the downward spiral of the market. It's only about 2 years old. Still, our house was listed at $185k, our neighbors purchased the house next to us for $130.
I first knew we were going to have a problem when I couldn't figure out who lived there. There are two young adult males complete with wife beaters and chains on their pants, a frumpy crabby woman who was always cradling her incredibly aggressive shitzapoozer or whatever the frick kind of designer mutt it happens to be, a little 6 year old girl, a dirty hippy looking teenage girl in torn "baby tees" and a pregnant African American woman. There were also about 4 cars/vans going in and out of the driveway every day. Turns out there is a mom, her teenage son from a previous marriage, his girlfriend, the dad, the little girl and their live in pregnant nanny.
After I caught the son and his girlfriend smoking a joint in front of his mother, right in front of my son playing in their back yard, I knew we were really headed for trouble. I came out, they knew they were caught and I scooped up my son and informed him in front of them that he was not allowed over there to play any more. The little girl is sweet and loves playing with Big which breaks my heart. Recently, the son moved out (I'm pretty sure) so Big is now allowed back into their back yard. Therein lies the bane of my existence.
They have a trampoline. I hate trampolines. I know how exciting they are for kids, but I REALLY hate how many risks there are associated with them. This trampoline has no netting around it, no bumpers to prevent their feet from going through the springs and is set up on uneven ground full of rocks. Big is not allowed on said trampoline. This creates an unimaginable tension and stress between Little Girl and Big.
Today, Big came in and asked me if he could play on the trampoline. I said no. His response was "Well, her mom said she's not allowed on the ground anymore.
What?
"She's not allowed on the ground anymore, only on the trampoline."
"Well, that is the silliest thing I have ever heard, but if that's what her mommy says, there is nothing I can do about it. The answer is still no."
He goes out to report this to Little Girl (who is sitting on the effing side walk). 5 minutes later, he's back. Now, she is still "not allowed on the ground" but NOW, she is moving. WTF- could I get that lucky. I inquire further:
"What do you mean she's moving?"
"She said she's moving to Florida and I just want to play with her before she moves away!!!" His eyes begin to well up with tears as his breathing gets all raggedy.
"When did she say she was moving?"
"Well, she said she was moving to Florida for 10 days and then coming back."
"Honey, that's a vacation, you don't move somewhere for 10 days- if you come back, it's just a vacation. You can play with her when she gets back."
He bursts into tears. "No, she's moving to Florida for ten days, then she's coming back but she's going to Texas too!!! I just want to play with her and I can't unless I go on the trampoline!!!!"
More meltdown. . . I am just not sure what to make of all this craziness. On one hand, I'm wondering if they are out there smoking pot again and Big is suffering delusions and confusion from second hand smoke. On the other hand, they are just hillbilly enough that there may be some shred of truth to this insane shuffling around of their family. I'm making dinner. It's 8:15, Little needs to be in bed in 15 minutes, Big in 45. I don't have the time or the patience to go over there and attempt to sort out some of this idiocy.
"Ok, honey, you need to calm down. You know how dangerous trampolines can be right?"
Sniffles and wails- and a head nod.
"I just can't risk you getting hurt by playing on it. I know it's fun, but I would feel awful if you fell off and got hurt. You will just have to play with her another day- when she's allowed on the ground. I'm sorry sweetheart."
Sniffles, snotting, wailing and copious tear wiping occurs as he walks out to give Little Girl the bad news and I hear him mutter-
"I told her the answer would still be no."
I first knew we were going to have a problem when I couldn't figure out who lived there. There are two young adult males complete with wife beaters and chains on their pants, a frumpy crabby woman who was always cradling her incredibly aggressive shitzapoozer or whatever the frick kind of designer mutt it happens to be, a little 6 year old girl, a dirty hippy looking teenage girl in torn "baby tees" and a pregnant African American woman. There were also about 4 cars/vans going in and out of the driveway every day. Turns out there is a mom, her teenage son from a previous marriage, his girlfriend, the dad, the little girl and their live in pregnant nanny.
After I caught the son and his girlfriend smoking a joint in front of his mother, right in front of my son playing in their back yard, I knew we were really headed for trouble. I came out, they knew they were caught and I scooped up my son and informed him in front of them that he was not allowed over there to play any more. The little girl is sweet and loves playing with Big which breaks my heart. Recently, the son moved out (I'm pretty sure) so Big is now allowed back into their back yard. Therein lies the bane of my existence.
They have a trampoline. I hate trampolines. I know how exciting they are for kids, but I REALLY hate how many risks there are associated with them. This trampoline has no netting around it, no bumpers to prevent their feet from going through the springs and is set up on uneven ground full of rocks. Big is not allowed on said trampoline. This creates an unimaginable tension and stress between Little Girl and Big.
Today, Big came in and asked me if he could play on the trampoline. I said no. His response was "Well, her mom said she's not allowed on the ground anymore.
What?
"She's not allowed on the ground anymore, only on the trampoline."
"Well, that is the silliest thing I have ever heard, but if that's what her mommy says, there is nothing I can do about it. The answer is still no."
He goes out to report this to Little Girl (who is sitting on the effing side walk). 5 minutes later, he's back. Now, she is still "not allowed on the ground" but NOW, she is moving. WTF- could I get that lucky. I inquire further:
"What do you mean she's moving?"
"She said she's moving to Florida and I just want to play with her before she moves away!!!" His eyes begin to well up with tears as his breathing gets all raggedy.
"When did she say she was moving?"
"Well, she said she was moving to Florida for 10 days and then coming back."
"Honey, that's a vacation, you don't move somewhere for 10 days- if you come back, it's just a vacation. You can play with her when she gets back."
He bursts into tears. "No, she's moving to Florida for ten days, then she's coming back but she's going to Texas too!!! I just want to play with her and I can't unless I go on the trampoline!!!!"
More meltdown. . . I am just not sure what to make of all this craziness. On one hand, I'm wondering if they are out there smoking pot again and Big is suffering delusions and confusion from second hand smoke. On the other hand, they are just hillbilly enough that there may be some shred of truth to this insane shuffling around of their family. I'm making dinner. It's 8:15, Little needs to be in bed in 15 minutes, Big in 45. I don't have the time or the patience to go over there and attempt to sort out some of this idiocy.
"Ok, honey, you need to calm down. You know how dangerous trampolines can be right?"
Sniffles and wails- and a head nod.
"I just can't risk you getting hurt by playing on it. I know it's fun, but I would feel awful if you fell off and got hurt. You will just have to play with her another day- when she's allowed on the ground. I'm sorry sweetheart."
Sniffles, snotting, wailing and copious tear wiping occurs as he walks out to give Little Girl the bad news and I hear him mutter-
"I told her the answer would still be no."
1 comments:
LMAO!! When she's allowed on the ground!!
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