Tuesday, December 21, 2010


After doing the FINAL shopping trip for this holiday season, I took the kids in for some celebratory IHOP. It was quiet in there and the kids had plenty of crayons and extra place settings to draw to their little heart's content. Big drew a complex scene of an army parcel loader, personnel carrier, helipad everything-you-need vehicle. Maxson has been quite proud of his success in drawing people. He decided to draw a picture of me "to make me happy".

He grabbed my pen and made my enormous egg shaped head/body combo. Drew my eyes- complete with pupils- very nice. Then he gave me a squiggly silly mouth which we all laughed at and tried to make our mouths squiggly and silly. Next came my stick legs from the bottom of my egg head/body. I asked where my nose was. A small scribbly dot of a nose was hastily added. Then my arms extended from the center of my face all the way to the edge of the page on either side. Hands are not required. Finally, he added my hair. I commented on how I love the way he draws my hair- a large (though not nearly as large as my Angry Birds-esque figure) curly scribble that resembles a beehive perched on the top. Lovely.

I turned to talk with Big about his drawing and hear every A_M_A_Z_I_N_G thing that his truck was capable of. I turned back to Little and noticed a new addition to my portrait.

Me: "What's that?"

Little: "What?"

Me: "That right there."

Little: (in a very serious- slightly impatient- tone) "That's your pee-pee."

Me: "Really."

Little: "Yeah, so you can go potty. . . your butt is behind it too."

I'm not sure if that rectangle that sticks out is supposed to be my butt. I hope not.

So I get home and am telling J about this when I see all the other portraits he has done of our family. There is one for J, one for Big and one for himself. There is also another one of me. I remember that it's of me because it's in pink. There are no scribble penises on J, Big's or Little's. But sure as shit, there is one on mine hanging right there on the fridge- I didn't even notice it until then.

Perhaps he is trouble by my lack of a penis and thinks that if he draws it on there enough times, the penis fairy will bring me one. So thoughtful.