There is a house up the street that has been for rent for a while. Recently, a family moved in there that has a preteen daughter and a 3 year old boy. Being the homebody/cold-o-phobe that I am, we hadn't "met" them until the weather started to turn warm. The boy turned up in our yard one afternoon asking to play with Big who was outside already. His name is Parker David Somethingorother. He insists on being called "Parker David Somethingorother". It's Somethingorother b/c he has this nails-on-a-chalkboard type voice that draaaaaaaaaws out words to where they are indecipherable to human ears and I can't make out WTF he is saying.
Example:
Caaaaaaaaaaaaanheheheeeecomeoutandplaaaaaaayandplayriiiightnowwifvemeeeeeeeeeeeee?
It's delightful, in a very not so delightful way. Anyway. Big and Parker David Somethingorother (we'll call him PDS for space purposes) get along all right b/c let's face it, if it's got a pulse and can talk, Big will play with it. So after the initial introduction, dh briefly meets PDS's mom as she comes to collect him from our backyard. He says something stupid about our dogs still being in training as the excuse for why PDS can't come in the house- really our house is just a sty and I have C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome ~flylady) so now this mom thinks our dogs are vicious maneaters and PDS is terrified of them. Dh can be such a ditz sometimes. The next day we meet dad for about 2 seconds when he asks if he can borrow a cup of butter. That's it, just wanted a cup of butter, then trots back down to his house while we supervise PDS and Big's Transformer War going on over our backyard hill.
So this kid is EVERYWHERE. The other day, I pulled out of the driveway- he was standing in the side yard, watching me leave. I look out in the backyard and he's sitting in our yard. Just. . . sitting. I looked out the sliding glass door one morning to find his face smushed up against it wanting to know if Big could come out and play.
Today, PDS rings the doorbell at nap time. Don't even get me started. I was tempted to drop Little off at his house and let this kids parents deal with a sleep deprived demon in human form, but thought the better of since he would probably just follow PDS back to our house and I'd be stuck with both of them. PDS would like to know if Big can come out and play. No he's at school, he won't be home for another 4 hours, but I'll let him know you called. PDS's response "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM, I I I I will jus' wait wight heaw".
Here being my front porch. Where are this kids parents? I had to inform him that it would be a long time before Big got back and waiting on my very hot front porch would not be much fun. He should go home and wait. Unfazed, he said ok and kept standing on the front porch until I told him I had to go get the now screaming Little and bade him goodbye.
Later, he appeared behind me inside my garage (I'm cleaning it out, our garbage men will be thrilled). Same set of questions, same answers, but with a twist thrown in. As he's leaving (by "leaving" I mean going to wait in the front yard instead of up my bum in my garage) he informs me that I'm pretty. I said thank you and gave him a smile as it's been days since my hormonal bitchy ass has heard the words "You" and "pretty" together. Then he informed me that I needed to buy Big another police car Transformer so that he (PDS) can play with it.
I knew not to get too excited about that pretty thing, he was just buttering me up for his own self-serving purposes. BAH. This time, it's a police car Transformer, next time. . . perhaps my soul. If he moves it up to beautiful, he just might get it.
Example:
Caaaaaaaaaaaaanheheheeeecomeoutandplaaaaaaayandplayriiiightnowwifvemeeeeeeeeeeeee?
It's delightful, in a very not so delightful way. Anyway. Big and Parker David Somethingorother (we'll call him PDS for space purposes) get along all right b/c let's face it, if it's got a pulse and can talk, Big will play with it. So after the initial introduction, dh briefly meets PDS's mom as she comes to collect him from our backyard. He says something stupid about our dogs still being in training as the excuse for why PDS can't come in the house- really our house is just a sty and I have C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome ~flylady) so now this mom thinks our dogs are vicious maneaters and PDS is terrified of them. Dh can be such a ditz sometimes. The next day we meet dad for about 2 seconds when he asks if he can borrow a cup of butter. That's it, just wanted a cup of butter, then trots back down to his house while we supervise PDS and Big's Transformer War going on over our backyard hill.
So this kid is EVERYWHERE. The other day, I pulled out of the driveway- he was standing in the side yard, watching me leave. I look out in the backyard and he's sitting in our yard. Just. . . sitting. I looked out the sliding glass door one morning to find his face smushed up against it wanting to know if Big could come out and play.
Today, PDS rings the doorbell at nap time. Don't even get me started. I was tempted to drop Little off at his house and let this kids parents deal with a sleep deprived demon in human form, but thought the better of since he would probably just follow PDS back to our house and I'd be stuck with both of them. PDS would like to know if Big can come out and play. No he's at school, he won't be home for another 4 hours, but I'll let him know you called. PDS's response "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM, I I I I will jus' wait wight heaw".
Here being my front porch. Where are this kids parents? I had to inform him that it would be a long time before Big got back and waiting on my very hot front porch would not be much fun. He should go home and wait. Unfazed, he said ok and kept standing on the front porch until I told him I had to go get the now screaming Little and bade him goodbye.
Later, he appeared behind me inside my garage (I'm cleaning it out, our garbage men will be thrilled). Same set of questions, same answers, but with a twist thrown in. As he's leaving (by "leaving" I mean going to wait in the front yard instead of up my bum in my garage) he informs me that I'm pretty. I said thank you and gave him a smile as it's been days since my hormonal bitchy ass has heard the words "You" and "pretty" together. Then he informed me that I needed to buy Big another police car Transformer so that he (PDS) can play with it.
I knew not to get too excited about that pretty thing, he was just buttering me up for his own self-serving purposes. BAH. This time, it's a police car Transformer, next time. . . perhaps my soul. If he moves it up to beautiful, he just might get it.
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